Twas the night before Christmas when all through the lab
Not a creature was stirring, not even to gab
The cells were all rocking in their incubators with care
In hopes that a colony soon would be there
And Sally in her labcoat and I in my paper shoes
had just settled in and were reading Yahoo News
When on the cell phone there arose such a clatter
that I looked at the freezers to see what was the matter
Away to the Monitor I flew like a flash
Looked at it briefly and I knew we'd lose cash
Frost in the -80s like new-fallen snow
had warmed up the samples from top and below
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear
but a little old man who shouted "never fear"
A really old timer, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment the cells wouldn't get sick
More rapid than an eagle like an auditor he came
And he whistled, and shouted, and called biologics by name!
"Now stem cells! now, bone grafts! now, DNA and its fixins!
now reagents, and RNA, and other good mixins
To the really good freezers! good temperatures I call!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
So to the good freezers the samples they flew
With the plates, and the tubes, and the biohazards too
And then, in a twinkling, they were gone in a poof
The tinkling and clanking to fix up the goof
As I drew in my head, and was turning around
Down the hood St Nicholas came with a bound
He was dressed in a lab coat from head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnished with red agar and root
A bundle of double-bagged tubes on his back
And he looked like a tech salesman just opening his pack
His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And his beard was white like transplanted bone
The stump of a pipette he held tight in his teeth
Making pluripotent stem cells in the shape of a wreath
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook when he laughed, a high-weight allele
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the freezers, then turned with a jerk
Breaking the pressure seal while watching the hose
And giving a nod, up the safety hood he rose!
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
and away they all flew like a really fast missile
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
"Happy Christmas to all, and to your cells, a safe night"
